Death Didn't Take A Holiday

By MMW

I thought back to the moment I discovered them floating in the tank belly up. My heart gave a little lurch and tears formed in my eyes. Me, a hardened Sharpshooter for the ATF, ex- Army Ranger Sniper, ex-Bounty Hunter and all-around tough guy, crying over some dead fish.  It was pathetic.

Reaching into my pocket I pulled out the pink hanky Chris gave me and wiped my eyes. The hanky hadn't always been pink, at one time all six of them had been white. That is, they had been white until "The Incident". I shutter even now to think of it. It was a red-letter day in my book, well, sort of. Meredith calls it "The Day Of The Red Sock"; I simply refer to it as "The Incident" . Don't get me wrong, I've gotten a lot of advice about getting the pink out of my hankies and other used-to-be whites, but I just haven't gotten around to getting the bleach necessary to do it. Maybe someday. In the meantime, I live with pink hankies.

Anyway, thinking of "The Incident" brings other thoughts of Meredith to mind, not that it takes much for me to think of her these days, heck, a ray of sunlight can put me in mind of her. But, as I stood looking at the three dead bodies before me, sniffing and crying like a little kid, images of time I'd spent with Meredith kept coming to mind. That first evening in the Saloon when she was so quiet you wondered what she was thinking; the time when she helped me with my report after that fancy voice software made a mess of it and the dinner afterwards; a hundred little things that happened including the most ridiculous dinner of our young lives at Ponderous MacDale's or Onerous Dale's as we'd call it between ourselves. Yep, we'd had some times.

That's where the fish tank came from, Onerous Dale's. They used it to hold the food we brought home. The thought of that dinner is enough to bring a smile to my face even in the midst of my current despair over the demise of my three fish. That dinner had come at the end of one of my favorite days. The two of us had a lot of fun, a lot of laughs that day. I wonder sometimes if I wasn't in love with Meredith even then, maybe that's why the death of these three fish hit me so hard. They, like that restaurant, were our secret. No one knew about the restaurant or what happened there and no one had a clue why I chose the names I did, especially because Rapid wasn't, Ponderous wasn't and MacDale just about baffled everyone. Meredith and I would exchange a knowing look and a smile whenever I was asked about them. But then, we have a lot of little secrets about that dinner, like the kilt.

I can feel my cheeks coloring even now thinking of that kilt. I still have it. Meredith knows. It was the first time she complimented me on my looks. Odd that I remember that. But that's our little secret too. Well, Miss Nettie knows, but that's only because I asked her about how to store it. Don't know quite for sure why I kept it; 's not like I'm sentimental or anything. But I have it stored away where the guys will never find it.

But then there are the fish, floating belly up in the tank. I've got to let Meredith know.

Looking at the clock, I see it's 5:33 in the morning. I wonder briefly why I'm up and can't come up with a good reason why I'm standing in my living room fully clothed crying over some dead fish at 5:33 in the morning. I sniff loudly, wipe my eyes and blow my nose into the pink hanky.  A noise distracts me and I feel everything inside me stop as I turn and see Meredith walking out of my bedroom in one of my t-shirts and her panties. Her hair is all tousled and she's blinking like her eyelids weigh about eighty pounds each. I look at her, really look at her and start feeling a reaction very different from grief over the loss of the fish. I'd never seen her legs before, well, not all of them. They were always at least partially covered, so I never realized how long they were, or how amazingly good looking. They were the type of legs that demanded notice and all I could think of just then was those legs wrapped around me. Oh, God. What had happened last night? Meredith was walking out of the bedroom - my bedroom - clad in a t-shirt and panties and I was standing fully clothed in the living room crying over my dead fish.

Focusing her eyes on me, I see concern cross her face as she sees me, pink hanky in hand, and heads over. I can't move, can't breathe, can't help but wonder if there's any chance she feels about me the way I do about her. I sure hope so.

Walking up to me, she puts her hand on my arm and asks with great concern, "What's wrong?"

I open my mouth, but new tears start to fall. What the Hell? More tears?  What is wrong with me?

I see her glance around me and her eyes fill with sadness and perhaps a tear or too. In this whisper-soft voice laden with sadness, sorrow and loss, she says, "They're gone."

I close my mouth, swallow and nod. She slips her arms around me hugs me. It's a comforting hug, the kind moms give their kids when they're hurting. I'm surprised by how much I need it just then, but curse slightly as a few more tears slip out. I can feel her hand rubbing gentle, comforting circles on my back and tighten my own hold as I fail to stop the tears. Some portion of my brain registers the fact she's not wearing anything under the t-shirt, but I ruthlessly shove that thought aside, allowing it to be replaced by my grief.

She leads me over to the couch where I notice the afghan lies in a rumpled pile. It's an afghan she made. I remember teasing her about being an old maid when I first discovered she knitted, but the truth was, I don't think I could do it if I tried and certainly wouldn't ever come up with some of the beautiful things she makes. I told her so once and she just looked at me really oddly before telling me she was sure I could knit and that it was just like any other skill, you just had to practice. Maybe she's right. I'm just not real interested in learning to knit.

Anyway, she sits me down on the couch and heads off to the kitchen to get me some water. I watch her as she walks in front of me and once more my thoughts turn away from my grief. Of course, what I'm thinking of now isn't exactly proper, but then, until I figure out what happened last night I reckon what I'm thinking of might have happened.

That thought fills me with all sorts of feelings; so many I can't even name them all. Happiness, joy, wonder, embarrassment are there, but so are many others. Part of me hopes it happened, but another part hopes it didn't because I can't remember.

As I'm trying to remember last night, I notice the garbage can by one end of the couch just about where my head would be if I were sleeping on it. That clue is enough to bring everything back into focus.

Drunk. I was drunk last night; probably still am. We were celebrating. Well, the others were, some aspects of the case... I couldn't stop the shudder. Anyway, we went out to celebrate and I didn't stop when I should have. Meredith was there with some of the ladies from the office and Ezra had asked her to bring me home. She'd taken one look at me and said she'd be happy to, but I also remember her asking about Desiree. I snort slightly. Desiree. Who would want Desiree when they could have Meredith? Ridiculous.

Anyway, at least I knew what was going on now.

Meredith returned with the water and the aspirin, obviously thinking I might need some. I open my mouth to thank her, but, as I turn toward her, I catch sight of the three little fishy corpses and feel the tears start. Frustrating, but at least this time I know I'm drunk so I have an excuse. Meredith doesn't say anything. She just takes me in her arms and settles back against the couch with my head resting on her shoulder and her arms around me.

I could stay like this forever.

After a few minutes, though, I realize I'm beginning to react to her in ways I'm not ready for her to know about and clear my throat. "Suppose we best..." I begin before the words fade away.

I can feel her smile as she squeezes me tight once more before releasing me. Looking into my slightly drier eyes, she asks, "Burial or burial at sea?"

I feel the corner of my mouth twitch at her choice of wording. Looking over at the little bodies, I know the answer. "Burial at sea," I respond. Meredith nods and goes off to the kitchen again as I watch those lovely legs walk away from me.

She's back a moment later with a bowl. Walking over to the fish tank, she slips the bowl into the water and scoops up the three former fish.  She then walks over to me, takes my hand and pulls me up. We make our way to the bathroom and stand before the toilet. I can see the mischievous spark in her eye as she asks, "Should we say some words over them?"

I know she's trying to find some way to help me feel better, and nod my head yes.  I watch as she thinks for a minute before she begins.

"Dearly beloved," she says.

I hope to be a dearly beloved of hers. She sure is to me.

"We are gathered here upon this sad occasion to mourn the passing of three pets, three friends who have provided hours of relaxing comfort and amusement simply by their mere existence. Though, Rapid, Ponderous and MacDale were only with us for a short time, they will be missed. We offer their bodies now once more to the waters and pray their souls to be received to the great joy and bliss of the fishy hereafter and welcomed with open arms by the great lobster in the eternal sea."

I couldn't help it. I snickered. Meredith shot me an amused glance as she fought the smile on her own face.

"Rapid, Ponderous and MacDale, we do hereby commit your bodies to the waters, your spirits to the fishy hereafter and your memory to our hearts. Peace be with you on your journey."

So saying, she tipped the bowl she was holding into the toilet and flushed. We watched silently as the fish spiraled away on their final journey. It was kind of sad, but I knew we didn't need the fish to remind us of that dinner. I felt Meredith's eyes on me and sighed in happy contentment when she placed her hand on my arm. Turning to meet her eyes and felt my heart bob up and down at what I thought I saw there.

"Let's get you back to sleep," she commanded, gently leading me to my bed this time and settling me in. "You look like you could use it."

I didn't protest, though I could feel my blood coursing hotter through my veins at the thought of lying in bed with her. That thought was short-lived as she tucked me in, kissed my forehead, stroked my hair and told me I should be OK now and she was leaving. She added that I should call her if I needed anything. I came very close to saying all I needed was her, even if she didn't stay in my bed with me, just having her around made things better. But I didn't. I didn't say that. I wouldn't. Not yet, not until I knew how she felt.

I watched as she gathered her clothes and slipped away. I fell into sleep once more, saddened by the loss of our fish, my fish, but feeling an odd sort of freedom from knowing Meredith was there, had been there, comforted me, even shared a tear or two and didn't judge me for it. There weren't many people I could say that about.

It was with that thought I fell asleep and started dreaming.

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Vin stood and brushed the dust from his buckskin pants. Taking off his hat, he grabbed his bandanna and mopped his face. Replacing his hat, he glanced over at his traveling companions. Meredith was checking their packs to make sure they had everything they needed. He shook his head wondering at the young woman. How she was able to keep up in this heat wearing the long skirted, long sleeved dresses required by society for women was a mystery to hiim. He'd tried to convince her that britches would be more appropriate, she just smiled, hefted her pack and indicated they should get moving.

He still regretted that they'd had to leave the horses, but they hadn't had much choice.

Looking for the third member of their party, he spotted Amnesty wandering away and cursed slightly. The girl was always wandering off. He would be glad when they finally reached Fort Laramie and dropped her off with her uncle who was to meet her. Of course, reaching Fort Laramie also signaled the end of his and Meredith's journey alone together as they would be escorting a small wagon train as far as Red Fork before leaving them to return home.

"Ace! Get your bag now!" Meredith called to their charge.

Vin shook his head. They had quickly discovered that Meredith was the only one the young girl would listen to. None of the seven peacekeepers knew why, even Miss Nettie had failed, yet with just a few quick words and a look, Meredith had gotten the girl to toe the line. Vin wondered if she had something on the young girl, some sort of blackmail.

Amnesty Caroline Everdale was a thirteen year old girl who loved the freedom of the West. She would always say she liked the openness of the area; that here she could "feel free down to her wind". 

Vin had once asked her what she meant and the girl had informed her that in the cities in the East where her family lived, she felt like she had to fight for every breath of air, or as she put it of wind. But here, in the West, she could breathe freely. It was that love of freedom that had convinced her father to allow her to walk from the train depot to the fort rather than ride or take the stage. The stage, Amnesty had complained, was suffocating and since she didn't know how to ride a horse, they were taking several days to walk the distance. Vin and Meredith would guide her there and then rent horses for the ride back.

Her father had come out to survey the land and promote it to people back East. Vin wasn't too fond of the idea, figuring they had enough people out here already what with the natives and the settlers already there. He didn't see a reason for anyone else to come. But her father, who had brought her along on the journey had decided, upon the advice of the Seven, to send his daughter home. Of course, her father didn't feel it proper to send his daughter off with one of the peacekeepers without some sort of female protection there to ensure nothing untoward happened (though the Seven felt if anything untoward was to happen it would be begun by the precocious Amnesty rather than one of them). So, they had determined Meredith was probably the best choice, not only because she'd proven how competent she was, but because school wasn't in session and the school teacher had the time. Vin had always been attracted to the teacher, but too shy to act upon those feelings and didn't protest in the slightest, the opportunity to spend time with her more than made up the annoyance of the thirteen year old.

Watching the girl run around the prairie-like area they were in, Vin shook his head and said, "Girl runs like a bird."

Meredith, who had been envying the freedom Amnesty, or Ace as she liked to call her, was displaying giggled, earning her a questioning look from Vin.  "Just thinking about what you said," Meredith explained. "It made a description pop into my head. I was thinking Ace looked like a boundless bird running up the prairie."

Vin smiled. There was a definite freedom to the girl's actions that they had not seen in town. But, it was time to get going. Hefting his own pack, Vin whistled to garner the girl's attention. Watching her run toward them, Vin held out her lighter bag and the three set off in the direction of town once more.

As they traveled conversation wandered all over. Vin was able to keep Amnesty interested in his stories for a while before she stared asking questions about the land, the plants and everything else they were seeing. Vin was just explaining that the "road" Amnesty had asked about was, in fact, a cattle trail that was also sometimes used by wagons when the girl ran ahead.

As she crossed the road, she scrambled up a small boulder, standing on the top of it. Turning back, she could see Vin and Meredith a short distance away on the other side of the road. She waved at them and saw them wave back.  Smiling hugely at her two chaperones, she called out, "Come on!" She winced slightly as her voice squeaked. Looking at the drop from the top of the boulder, she decided it was safe to jump. Shouting, "Woo-hoo!" as she jumped, she missed the horrified look on Vin's face and the smile on Meredith's.  Standing up and dusting herself off, she looked back at the two and once more shouted, "Come on! Hurry up!"

Meredith laughed as Amnesty's voice squeaked again. "We're trying, Squeaky!" she called, tugging on Vin's sleeve to get him moving a little faster, laughing again as he made a face. He probably wouldn't forgive her for this, but the sooner they got to Fort Laramie, the sooner they could relinquish their burden and the sooner Vin could relax a little. Meredith couldn't recall ever seeing the Tracker this tense.  Looking at the young man with some concern, she asked, "Are you all right? You seem a little... I don't know... Not yourself?"

Vin looked at the woman who had possessed his dreams since she had appeared in town. The truth was, he was being quiet because he was trying to control his own feelings and impulses. And right now his feelings and impulses were sending contradictory messages. He was happy with Meredith and annoyed with Amnesty. He wanted to strangle the teenager and take the schoolteacher in his arms and show her how he really felt about her. It was taking all his attention to not act on either impulse.  "Just thinkin' about where we're going and what lies ahead," he said. He watched as Meredith nodded. He knew she thought he was talking about their trail to Fort Laramie, but he was thinking about a relationship with her. He knew that the trip from Red Fork to Four Corners would take two full days if they pushed hard and that meant at least one night alone together under the stars. If he didn't push them hard, they could end up spending two nights on the trail. Two nights alone with her could be a good thing or a bad thing. Hopefully he'd be able to determine whether or not she had similar feelings before their ride home. His attention returned to the task at hand as he corrected the path Amnesty had set.

Several hours later, Meredith noticed some rams on a mountainside and pointed them out to Amnesty. She watched in satisfaction as curiosity was writ large in the girl's eyes.

Amnesty watched as they raced both ways she thought the mountain seemed limitless.  It was amazing out here in the West. She'd fallen in love with it the first day she stepped off the train. Her time in Four Corners only went to enhance her opinion. Honestly she hadn't been too impressed until she began to meet some of the people. The Peacekeepers caught her interest at first, but the women of Four Corners amazed her. They were not only strong women, but seemed to have the respect of the town.

As the trio approached a crossroads, they unreservedly began to hike across it. They stopped in the middle to breath for a few minutes when Amnesty saw what looked like a free-moving, uninhibited dark-brown ocean walking right at them. Stunned and unable to utter a sound, she simply pointed while her mouth opened and closed.

Turning to look where the young woman was pointing, Vin took only a second to process what he was seeing before he grabbed Meredith with one hand, Amnesty with the other and hurried them across the rest of the crossroads to safety.  He made sure they were a secure before he explained that it was a large cattle drive headed their way.  The women nodded and Meredith indicated that they needed to get moving if they were going to make the distance they needed to that day.

The trio continued on in more or less the same fashion for the next two days before arriving at Fort Laramie. As they arrived, they checked in with the commanding officer and discovered that Amnesty's escort was late and the wagon train had left the day before they arrived, running well ahead of schedule. Meredith and Vin exchanged a look. They would need to stay at the fort with Amnesty until her uncle arrived, but their trip back to Four Corners had just been shortened by a few days since not only could they take a more direct, cross-country path, but they could travel more quickly with their horses than the wagons would.

Asking where they could stay, the three moved off to get Meredith and Amnesty settled in their room. Vin would be bunking somewhere else.  As they were settling in, Meredith asked, "Hey, Ace, do you still have those papers your father gave you?"

Amnesty's brow furrowed and she shrugged. Digging through her pack, she eventually located them, looked at the others and yelled, "Eureka!"

Meredith smiled. The papers weren't really that important, but it made Amnesty feel useful and distracted her from some of the discomfort of the journey. "Good," she praised. "You best keep them safe until you reach home. Wouldn't want anything to happen to them."

Amnesty nodded and replaced the papers in the secret pocket Meredith had helped her sew into her pack before leaving four corners. She loved the intrigue of it. Oh, she knew enough to know that her father wouldn't trust her with any of his truly important papers, but it was kind of fun to pretend.

Meredith looked at their young charge and knew that they would have to come up with some way of distracting her for the next few days. They were helped by some of the soldier's wives who had similarly aged children. As it turned out, they had races that they ran periodically, they called them field days and the trio had arrived just in time for one of them.

The next morning, they talked Amnesty into participating. Fortunately she made fast friends and soon found herself swept up in the joy of the day. As the day progressed, the dryness of the area fed into events and resulted in clouds of dust with every footstep. Soon the time came for the long race for the young teen girls. Amnesty and her new friends were all going to participate. The race stared and everyone cheered as they had for each race. As the girls headed back, it appeared they were running neck and neck. As they crossed the finish line, those watching struggled to see through the clouds of dust swimming around the contestants. The official, however, finding himself surrounded by the cloud of dust declared Amnesty the winner. Meredith and Vin cheered her and celebrated with her.

The next day it was more difficult to keep her entertained. By mid-afternoon both Meredith and Vin were struggling to control their tempers. They were saved that evening by the arrival of Amnesty's uncle. One more night in Fort Laramie was all that they would need to stay.  Amnesty and her uncle would be leaving the next morning.

The next day Vin and Meredith said their good-byes to Amnesty and watched as she left with her uncle. Going back to Meredith's room where they had stored their bags, they closed the door, let out twin groans and fell to the floor in relief.

Meredith looked over at Vin and smiled.

"What?" he asked, his mind already contemplating their time alone on the trail.

"Nothing really," Meredith said. "I'm just happy because I feel emancipated." She smiled even more broadly as she watched Vin laugh.  Realizing how close they were and how much she really liked him, she rolled onto her side, propped her head up on her hand and just watched him.

Aware she was watching him, Vin turned onto his side and propped his head up on his hand as well. Their eyes locked and he could feel an electricity building between them.

Unable to stop herself, Meredith reached out with her free hand and cupped Vin's face. Feeling Vin turn his face into her hand and watching him close his eyes, she moved closer and claimed his lips.

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Vin sighed and turned over in his sleep.

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