By MMW
Vin reached underneath the seat
in front of him as the plane began its final descent into the airport. He
wanted to find the receipt he’d gotten at the Denver airport. At the time, he’d
dropped it into one of the pockets of his bag. He knew he really didn’t need
it, but wanted to distract his mind. The flight in the cramped, enclosed
cylinder had him less than settled.
Glancing out the window, Vin’s
breath caught as a torrent of peace flooded over him. The open grassy area
surrounded by an intricate forest of trees passed under the plane and allowed
him to forget his discomfort and fear as the awesome beauty of nature filled
his mind’s eye.
As the plane drew lower and
nature gave way to civilization, he turned his attention to the complex bag
before him. He sighed. Why had he grabbed this bag? There were so many pockets,
snaps, zippers and fastenings that he wasn’t sure he’d ever find anything in
there again. Finally opening one pocket, he found a card lying on a blue shirt
he’d packed which, with the small pattern, looked more like a detailed drawing
of a sea than an article of clothing.
Pushing aside the shirt, he found
a box of ribbon candy he must have picked up somewhere. A small smile crossed
his face as he remembered the previous Christmas season when he and Meredith
had helped out at the youth center. One of the kids had made a gingerbread
house and entered it into a city-wide competition. Since they had run out of
gingerbread and green frosting, the child had improvised using red licorice as
ground cover. Somehow, just as the judges were coming by, a piece of yellow
ribbon candy had fallen and was resting atop the landscape. Vin could still
hear Meredith’s explanation: “It’s a ribbon of moonlight over the crimson
moor…”
Leaning back in his chair he
sighed. He loved the way she talked, the way she saw things… His heart ached
slightly as her laugh echoed in his soul. Closing his eyes, trying to close out
the harsh lines of the world, he allowed himself to fall into the gentle
embrace of his memories of Meredith.
They hadn’t planned on ending
up in the middle of a Renaissance Faire, especially not the largest one in the
area, but that’s exactly where their quiet day had landed them. Vin had agreed
to show Meredith more of her new state, something he was surprised she’d ask
him to do after their run in with Onerous Dale’s restaurant, but he enjoyed
spending time with his new friend. Though they’d only known each other a few
short months, their friendship was relaxed and comfortable.
They had stumbled across the
Faire by accident when curiosity over the long line of cars headed down a
little-known road got the better of them. Before they were sure of what they
were getting themselves into, they were parked and headed toward a group of
buildings.
As they approached they saw a
man dressed as a street sweeper – or at least they had thought him a street
sweeper – coming toward them apparently teaching a young man with him the best
way to shovel manure into the wheeled cart they were using. A smile had
appeared on Vin’s face and he saw a similar grin on Meredith’s. “Well,” she’d
said with a slight giggle, “they had to learn somehow.”
Vin just shook his head. He
supposed any trade had its tricks, but he still found it amusing to watch the
Street Sweepers come toward them teaching.
Vin snapped out of his reverie as
the plane came to a halt and the Captain turned off the fasten seatbelt sign.
Vin stood immediately. The sooner he could get out of this sardine can the
happier he would be. All he wanted to do right now was get to the Spokane ATF
offices and see Meredith.
Biting back his impatience at the
slow moving herd before him, Vin made his way off the plane. With long, loping
strides, he quickly flowed through the masses of people and to the taxi-stand.
Taking the first available taxi,
he gave his destination and allowed himself to sink back into the memories of
so many months ago, before he ripped her heart out, before their feelings were
so strong, before Desiree… before he even knew he liked her as more than a
friend…
They paid the admission and
entered the Faire grounds. There was much to see and do in the area, games to
play, food to try, a maze to walk… It had turned into a really fun day filled
with laughter and smiles. It was later that afternoon when they both wanted
some food and rest that they found themselves before the ornate inn-door.
Just as Vin had reached toward
the handle, a Page wearing a French cocked-hat which seemed to rest just on the
upper brow of his eyes came beyond the pen next door. His dress and manner
caught their attention. There was just a note of claret velvet (at least that’s
what someone had called it when Meredith asked) at his throat. The breeches he was
wearing looked to be made of elaborately decorated doeskin.
Vin rolled his eyes as
Meredith appraisingly observed that they fit with “never a wrinkle” and then
asked if he would try on a pair. She
had laughed just after so he knew she’d been teasing him.
Continuing their observation
of the man, they both noted that he seemed to carry papers by his thigh. There
was a twinkle in the Page’s eyes as he spoke and, though it looked more like a pistol
butt, it was actually an oddly shaped rapier hilt twinkled as well under the –
to quote another actor at the Faire – highly wrought sky.
Vin and Meredith listened as
he clattered and chatted to no one in particular about the schedules of various
events still left that day and the next. The inn-yard had an almost delicate
look to it, Meredith had observed as they saw the page go in. The page then
started talking to a ball with a painted face on it which rested atop the
shutters of the yard. Vin had commented it looked like a stress-ball he’d once
seen in a store. The comment had earned him a smile.
Vin paid the taxi driver and
headed toward the building. He had just
entered and gotten into the short line of people starting to head in when he
overheard a conversation.
“I can’t believe she taught us
everything so quickly,” the young blond said.
“I know,” the redhead replied.
“Normally I’d complain about being gypped, but the truth is I’m really anxious
to try out what she showed us.”
“Me too!” the blond squealed
excitedly. “Did you see what she did with Denver’s site? It’s great!”
“I know,” the redhead responded,
causing Vin to wonder if she knew any other phrases. “Meredith did a great job.
I want to see if I can get things organized like she did. She said she’d be at
her hotel tonight if we had any questions.”
“Do you think she found the park
OK?” the blond asked, a hint of worry in her voice. “I saw Peabody trying to
give her directions and you know she couldn’t find her way out of a paper bag.”
The two women laughed at the
comment as the red-head replied, “Don’t worry it’s kind of hard to miss the
park and carousel. Besides O’Malley gave her a written set of directions so she
should be fine.”
Vin stepped out of line and
headed back toward the front door. Stepping outside into the fresh air, he sat
on the stairs for a moment. Meredith wasn’t here. He’d flown all the way to
Spokane, had taken a taxi to the ATF building, had worked up his nerve to find
her and drag her out of class… and she was at a park somewhere.
A small smile crept on his face.
She was at a park with a carousel. He should have figured she’d be someplace
like that. Standing, he decided his best bet was to take a taxi and trust the
driver to get him to where he needed to be.
Flagging down a taxi, he slid in
back and asked to be taken to the carousel. The driver seemed to know exactly
what Vin meant, or at least didn’t look at him too strangely, and they headed
off. Trying to distract himself from the nervous tension that had begun chewing
away at him, he allowed his mind to drift back to the Faire.
Finally tiring of the Page’s
antics, the two entered the inn. They were immediately claimed as friends by
the innkeeper. Having given their names and received a hearty greeting, they
were shown to a table in a back room where other “friends” were seated. The
windows here also had shutters, but, whereas the one upon which the head had
rested was open, these were locked and barred.
The closed atmosphere this
created had made both he and Meredith uncomfortable, but, figuring it was just
for a meal, the two set aside their discomfort and tried to focus on the antics
of those around them.
Though they hadn’t thought they’d
have a choice of meal, knowing that frequently only one dish was offered at
inns, they were surprised when a young woman and a black-eyed man came into the
room.
The man whistled a tune to the
list of offerings the young woman was reading off. It was very well done and
amusing as toward the end, the young woman obviously was trying to get the man
to lose his tune. She finally succeeded much to the amusement of all those
watching.
Their orders were placed and
the food arrived. Though it was true to the period and cooked in such a way,
both of them had agreed it was really quite good, far better than either would
have expected from “authentic” Renaissance food.
Having finished their meal and
left the money on the table, the two made their way back toward the main room
where they caught sight of the landlord’s black-eyed friend who had provided
musical accompaniment to their dinner menu. He was standing by the young woman
who was holding a pen. He was obviously mentoring her in the fine arts of writing
and arithmetic, two skills very rare for the period and even more rare for
women.
Vin and Meredith watched a
little longer as the landlord’s friend read to her an order out of a turquoise
colored book. They exchanged a quick glance as they watched him then lean down
and whisper something into her ear as his hand removed the ecru cap containing
he hair and ran his hand along the silken strands.
Leaving the building, the two
had shared a small laugh over the interaction and speculated about what the
innkeeper would have to say about the budding romance.
After stopping by a few more
stalls, the two had left the Faire and headed for home.
Startled out of his reverie by
the voice of the Cab Driver, Vin paid the fare and exited the vehicle.
Stepping away from the curb, he
scanned the park around him. There was more to this park than just the
carousel, but at least that would give him somewhere to start.
Moving toward the building, he
stood by the entrance and scanned the people.
No Meredith.
Beginning to wonder if she might
still be here and what he would say when he found her, he stepped out of the
building and moved toward the small lake area.
Taking a deep breath, he closed
his eyes and slowly released it. He knew Meredith. Sometimes he thought he knew
more about her than he knew about himself, other times he didn’t know her at
all. Right now, he had to try and figure out where she would go. What did
Meredith love? Where did she go when she needed to think? Water… specifically
waterfalls if she could find them. Nodding his head in satisfaction at his
conclusion, he headed across the footbridge and soon found himself standing
over a river.
Scanning the people on the
bridge, Vin didn’t see Meredith, but glancing downstream, he noticed another
bridge and a very familiar figure leaning with her arms resting on the railing.
“Meredith” he breathed. He stood frozen for a moment at the sight of her. She
looked so lost, so alone. Had he done that to her?
His lungs finally demanding
oxygen, Vin inhaled sharply and snapped out of his trance. He had to see her.
He was so close. He had to make her listen, make her understand what had
happened, understand that he wanted her and only her, that … “that you complete
me,” he whispered, stunned by the revelation, by the truth of the statement.
With a determined stride, Vin
made his way to the other bridge, his step never faltering. He knew what he
wanted, what he needed and if it took him the rest of his life, he would heal
her heart and win her back.
He was no more than ten feet away
when she turned and saw him. He wasn’t sure he would ever be able to identify
all the emotions that flashed in her eyes as she recognized him.
“Vin,” she said.
His mind froze for a moment. She
had said his name, but there was no emotion, no inflection in it. There was no
surprise, no hope, no love, not even hate, just a collection of letters put
together and breathed aloud.
Finally identifying fear and pain
as the predominant emotions in her eyes, Vin stayed where he was, waiting to
judge his reception before moving closer. The last thing he wanted to do was
scare her away, not when he’d spent so long… So long what? Spent so long in
love with her and unable to say anything. He wouldn’t lose her now. “Meredith,”
he replied, the relief, need and pleading tone of his voice apparent to his own
ears. He saw her pull back and begin to move away. Panic nipped at the edges of
his heart. “Please?” he begged, raising his hand, unable to find any other
words, unable to voice his need just then, he allowed his heart, his need to
pour through his eyes.
He watched as she unconsciously
bit her lip. That small action, so familiar to him, made him want to smile. She
always did that when she was thinking about something, but he knew a smile now
was out of place. His small happiness at the familiar sight faded as he saw her
draw down her defenses and close herself off. He had done this to her.
Seeing her shift slightly and nod
her ascent that she would stay, he lowered his hand and moved closer. As he
approached, he could tell, without a doubt, when to stop. She had always had a
very definite personal space and people just naturally stayed out of it unless
invited into it. The extent of the pain he caused truly hit Vin when he
realized that he was no longer allowed in that space, that the comfortable
closeness was no longer there. More
than anything, not being able to touch her, hug her, brush her hair out of her
face, pierced him. He watched as she reached up and very deliberately tucked a
stray hair behind her ear. I should have done that, he thought bitterly.
Knowing she was waiting for him
to continue, he licked his lips, opened his mouth and prayed for the best.
“Meredith,” he said again, “I don’t know when it happened, I don’t know how it
happened, but I love you and am in love with you.” He received no reaction to
his confession; it was downright unnerving. “I’ve known… I wanted to tell you
so long ago, but things kept getting in the way. I want you to know Desiree
meant nothing to me, I just couldn’t get Buck and the others to stop throwing
us together and insisting we were a couple. As for Drea,” he saw the visible
flinch, “Meredith, Drea was someone from my past who didn’t walk on the right
side of the law. She didn’t know I was an ATF agent and came to me to be her
bodyguard while she cut an arms deal. I had to play the part, but that’s all it
was – playing – acting – pretending. When you,” his voice caught as he thought
of the previous Friday - was it really less than a week ago? – and the look in
Meredith’s eyes as she ran her hand down his arm, as she took his hand in hers
and revealed her heart… “When you saw me, I was there with her because she was
meeting the dealer. I had to… When she said that… If she thought you meant anything
to me…” Vin silently cursed his tongue and it’s fumbling ways. He could write
poetry that brought tears to Meredith’s eyes, but couldn’t explain his heart…
An idea jolted through him. Maybe
that’s what he needed to do, allow his heart to talk. When he couldn’t speak,
he could always write a poem… Taking a
deep breath, he shoved aside all conscious thought and allowed his heart to
pour fourth. “Oh cursed tongue thy twisted path / does foil my heart’s desire. /
In her am I made whole at last / In her heart, in passion’s fire. / My life I
hold as nothing / my soul should be bereft / For without my dear one’s love /
There’s nothing worthy in me left. / So should my love depart me / And take
away love’s light / I shall diminish and fade away / For only she can make me
right.”
He watched, his heart laid bare,
his hand open and reaching. As he began reciting the poem, he watched her
defenses crumble as first one tear escaped and was soon followed by others.
Finally he saw her close her eyes and drop her head as the words wound their
way deep within her heart. As her shoulders shook with a silent sob, he could
hold back no longer.
Stepping forward, he wrapped his
arms around her and cradled her head to his shoulder, allowing her to cry as he
held her and whispered everything he had longed to tell her, everything he
needed so desperately to say.
He knew they would have a
struggle before them; no relationship was entirely smooth. Not only would they
have rough days as they transitioned from friends to couple, but he knew he
still needed to earn her trust back. He had hurt her deeply and he wasn’t
foolish enough to believe that hurt would be healed by a few words and a few
tears, they would need time. But at least, he thought to himself, we
now have time.
