Vin sat on the deck of Chris’ house watching the sun rise over the mountains. He loved this time of day, but today the beauty before him did little other than remind him of Meredith. Meredith loved sunrises as well. It was just one of many things they had in common. He sat silently, grateful his head wasn’t hurting as much and well aware of Chris moving around the interior of the house.
The previous day they had executed the bust that resulted in the arrests of Drea and Grand, two gun dealers looking for a foothold in the Denver area. Their way into the deal had come with Drea, an old flame of Vin’s. He had gone undercover pretending to still have feelings for her, or at least a desire for her, and a need for her money. That role had caused him to lose his chance for happiness with Meredith when she had stopped by unexpectedly to declare her feelings. Or, at least, that’s what Vin assumed she was there to do, hoped she was there to do.
In the process of taking Drea and Grand down, he had suffered a fall which resulted in a concussion and the reason he was currently at Chris’ house. He smiled slightly. One good thing had come out of all this. The combination of recent events had broken down Ezra’s walls of doubt. The Undercover Agent had left straight from the hospital to talk to his lady after finding out Vin would be alright.
“Hey, Cowboy,” he said as the door behind him opened. He listened as Chris crossed the porch and felt the weight of a jacket come to rest on his shoulders. “Thanks,” he said quietly as Chris settled next to him. They had been sitting for several silent minutes when Vin suddenly found his view of the dawn blocked by a piece of white paper with typing on it.
Taking the paper, he focused on the print. It was a poem, “Almost,” he read out loud. Scanning down the poem, he felt his throat constrict with emotion as the truth of Meredith’s feelings were driven home as well as the realization of how much time the two had wasted in their fear and insecurity.
“Want to talk about it?” Chris asked, looking out at the coming dawn rather than at his friend. Chris had found the poem as a crumpled ball in the back corner of his coat closet. Having read the poem, a lot of things suddenly became more clear; Vin’s sudden disinterest in dating as well as his inattentiveness to Desiree and on the job. Thinking back to the tape from Friday, he asked, “It was her Friday, wasn’t it? The unidentified female voice?”
Vin never looked up from the paper, but gritted his teeth and nodded. “She came to tell me how she felt,” he said, his voice almost breaking with emotion. “I...”
Chris nodded and placed a hand on Vin’s shoulder to let him know he didn’t have to go on. He had heard the tape and knew what Drea said. “Did someone tell her?” He saw the negative shake of the shaggy head. “Have you gotten a hold of her?” Again a negative. Chris clenched his teeth for a moment unable to believe his friend hadn’t even tried to get a hold of Meredith. It was a fairly obvious step. “Then maybe you should contact her,” Chris advised, resisting the urge to try and knock some sense into Vin. How much more obvious a course of action did he need?
Vin heard the irritation in his friend’s voice. It wasn’t that he hadn’t wanted to get in touch, he just hadn’t had time. He’d been working the case and had to focus on that. Of course, the fact that he’d been so lost in his misery that it never crossed his mind that he might still have a chance if he could explain fed into that equation as well. He sighed.
Hearing his friend’s sigh, Chris shook his head, amazed at his friend’s inactivity. “Unless, of course, you don’t feel the same,” he prodded. He suppressed his smile as his friend’s head whipped upward and shocked blue eyes focused on him, proof enough to Larabee that Vin was far from indifferent.
“God, Chris. I... She... She’s ...”
“Like coming home?” Chris supplied, allowing his smile to show. He thought back to his own feelings for Sarah and the start of their relationship. It was good to be able to think on it without pain. Seeing Vin tilt his head to the side in thought before smiling and nodding, Chris clapped him on the shoulder and said, “So what are you waiting for?”
Vin looked at his best friend, a spark of hope in his eyes for the first time in days. “Reckon not much,” he replied, slipping on his jacket in preparation to standing. “Aw, Hell. I don’t know where she is,” Vin said. sinking back down on the step.
Chris shook his head at his friend. Pulling the phone out of his pocket, Chris handed it to Vin and said, “Call someone who does.”
Looking into the green eyes, Vin smiled and took the phone. Dialing Meredith’s home phone number, he waited until JD answered. “Hey, JD!” Vin greeted.
“Vin?” came the mumbled reply. “It’s still dark out. What’s wrong?”
Vin smiled at the sleep laden voice. “Need you to tell me how to get in touch with Meredith right now.”
JD perked up on the other end of the phone and smiled. “Finally going to tell her how you feel?” he asked, expectation and excitement in his voice.
Vin’s brow furrowed a little. “How did you...?”
“You talk in your sleep sometimes,” JD informed him as he wandered out toward the kitchen, wireless phone in hand. Rummaging through some papers he smiled as he imagined the Sharpshooter on the other end of the line shaking his head. “Got it. Let’s see... Looks like she’ll be in San Diego today... Ah, here’s the number...”
Vin repeated the number back to JD. “Ok. Hey, thanks JD,” he offered before ending the call. He saw Chris watching him closely. “What are you staring at?” he demanded.
Chris just smiled. “I think I’m looking at a Texan in love,” he replied. “Now start dialing!”
Vin smiled at his friend and shook his head. He had dialed in the first four numbers when he stopped. “She’s an hour behind us,” he said, his face falling at the thought of having to wait.
Chris sighed. He supposed it would be best to wait another hour. After all it wasn’t quite six in the morning so that would make it before five for Meredith. Seeing his friend’s drooping face, he said, “Tell me about the first sunrise you and Meredith watched together.”
Vin looked at his friend, aware Chris was trying to distract him, but giving in anyway since he didn’t mind talking about Meredith. He thought back. “Do you remember that really wild party at Travis’?” he asked. He watched as Chris’ eyebrows furrowed and then his hazel eyes grew large. Releasing a soft laugh, Vin continued, “Yeah, that party. Well, it was getting late and everyone else seemed... occupied.” He saw Chris look slightly embarrassed at that. It had been some party.
“You were on meds so you missed the punch and fruit,” Chris added.
Vin nodded. Well, Meredith wasn’t drinking and everyone was... occupied except us. We got to talking and she mentioned her favorite times of day were sunset and sunrise as well as that quiet time just after dawn. You know those are some of my favorites as well, and I started telling her about this cliff where you can see the most beautiful sunrises.”
“The one just East of Denver that you brought me to?”
“Yep, the one with the depression that looks like a spoon. Anyway, we packed a few snacks and things and borrowed some bikes from the AD and Mrs. Travis. We asked later and they said they didn’t mind. Anyway...”
Seven months before on the side of a mountain just east of Denver...
Vin stood and looked at the spot to which he had brought Meredith. He felt very comfortable around her and thought she felt the same. As he felt himself soothed by the cool green spoon-shaped depression. Reaching into his tea-pot shaped picnic basket - he could only shake his head and wonder where Mrs. Travis had found such things - he pulled out a large leaf bag, slit it open and spread it out on the slightly damp ground. Not a formal picnic tablecloth or blanket, but it would keep them dry.
Meredith reached over and pulled her tea pot shaped picnic basket from the back of the bike she’d been riding. She could only wonder where Mrs. Travis had found two such items. Moving over to the bag resting on the ground, she opened her basket and set out the sandwiches and fresh pretzels she had brought. Checking, she found only tea cups for glasses and set them out as well.
Vin flipped open the top of his basket and set the contents next to Meredith’s in preparation for their breakfast. Glancing over, he picked up one of the sandwiches and peeked inside. Carrots? She put carrots on the sandwich? Who in their right mind put carrots on a sandwich?
Meredith checked out Vin’s offerings, fresh pretzels and sandwich... cookies. She stared in disbelief. Who in their right mind ate sandwich cookies for breakfast? Opening the thermos Vin had brought, she poured the contents into the teacups, making sure not to spill any on their saucers, and smiled when she realized she was pouring cold tea into them.
“You put carrots on the sandwiches!” Vin accused, mortified at being tricked into eating vegetables.
Meredith stared at him, open mouth. “At least I brought sandwiches. You packed sandwich cookies!” she retorted. “Besides, there’s only a little bit of shredded baby carrots on them. It won’t kill you.”
Vin sniffed. “I have a delicate system,” he informed, borrowing Ezra’s excuse. “There’s no telling what will set me off.”
Meredith burst into laughter at the claim. Normally she wouldn’t have burst out laughing, but she’d been up since seven the previous morning and was overtired. She tried to control her laughing, but couldn’t and soon the inevitable tears started streaming down her face as she fought for breath.
Vin looked at the woman laughing at him and soon had to join in her laughter. Eventually they both settled and he looked askance at the sandwich once more before looking into Meredith’s hazel eyes and asking, “You sure these are safe to eat?”
Meredith wiped the last of her tears of laughter from her eyes and nodded. “Yep. They’re safe. I’ve served them at parties before and everyone’s lived,” she assured him. She watched as he took the sandwich carefully, as if handling a bomb and slowly bit into it. Slowly a look of surprised pleasure spread across his handsome features bringing a smile to her face. “Not to bad for healthy stuff, huh?” she asked, picking up a sandwich of her own and taking a bite.
Vin smiled at his friend. “Not too bad at all.”
As they talked and ate, the plate the sandwiches had been on began to be revealed. It was an interesting plate that seemed to change color as it moved. Intrigued by the multi-hued plate, the two began walking around the clearing watching the plate color change from black to navy, then spruce, burgundy and finally a deep yellow. The colors continued to shift as the two moved back to their picnic area.
Settling back down, Meredith flipped open the lid to her basket and withdrew the paper and crayons she’d found in there, obviously placed there to entertain Billy when he was out with them. Glancing over at Vin, who was looking at the greying sky, she moved her tea cup off of it’s saucer and used the yellow crayon to trace the outline of it. When she was finished, she colored in her saucer-sized sun and used the other crayons to fill in the rest of picture.
Vin watched as Meredith finished her picture of the coming dawn by putting a smiling face on the sun. He laughed and shook his head as Meredith pulled back and showed him the full picture she’d colored. Picking up a different sheet of paper, Vin created his own picture. They laughed over their childish drawings before he glanced up. His laughter caught in his throat as he witnessed the morning light casting its warming rays over the relaxing scenery. Reaching out, he placed a hand on Meredith’s arm and directed her attention to the coming sun.
Meredith felt her breathing still. It was beautiful. Unconsciously, she stood and walked to the edge of the cliff they were on. “Sugar!” she cursed quietly to herself. “I never have my camera when I want it.” Well, she could make a memory of it. She was aware of Vin’s presence coming and standing at her shoulder a few moments later, but was too lost in the beauty of the sunrise to acknowledge him.
As the first edge of the golden globe crested the horizon, Meredith couldn’t keep the words inside her and recited:
The darkest depth of blackest night
Does bow to the dawning gray,
Of the world’s attempt to set to right
The beginning of each new day
As colors waken, warm and stream
‘Cross sky above and soul below,
The shadows aren’t what they seem
Instead are things we know.
Each pale color grows to define
It’s ruling in the sky,
But yields its ever fleeting time
To daytime’s deaf’ning cry.
The wonder of this ephemeral morn
Touches the quiet soul,
Leaving within it a peace newborn
That only a few will know.
A peaceful silence embraced the duo as Meredith finished her impromptu poem. She was grateful not only that Vin didn’t tease her about it, but also that he allowed the moment to carry itself in silence.
When the bottom of the sun cleared the horizon and the sky faded into the light blue of morning, Meredith took a deep breath and exclaimed, “What a sunrise!”
Vin smiled and cheered a little in agreement. Then, placing his hand on Meredith’s elbow, he turned her and guided her back toward their picnic area. As they approached, he let his hand drop from Meredith’s arm. As they neared the picnic table, he tripped over a root or stone and fell face first toward the bag. Hearing Meredith’s suppressed giggle, he rolled over, knowing he wasn’t hurt. Seeing an opportunity to tease her, he said as seriously as he could, “Here I am, laying on the ground, possibly injured, maybe having hit my head on the picnic table and all you can do is laugh.”
Meredith calmed enough to gasp out, “Oh, that was a smooth move, Vin. Probably the smoothest of the picnic. As for the ‘picnic table’, the one just by the end of your hair, if that’s a table it’s got to be the most laid-back table I’ve ever seen.” Leaning over, but still laughing, she offered her hand and pulled him up.
He laughed quietly with her until she calmed and then sat her down on their ‘picnic table’.
He had been touched by her poem and by the fact she would share herself so openly with him. As someone who wrote poetry himself, he understood how personal, how private, how revealing those words could be. He wanted to let her know he understood. Thinking back upon their sunrise together, he had formed a poem of his own.
Meredith sat and looked up at Vin. There was an intensity about him, something she didn’t fully understand. It wasn’t disturbing, just different from what she’d seen before.
Shifting on his feet trying to get comfortable, he cleared his throat and said, “You shared a poem with me this morning at dawn.” He saw her blush slightly. “I think it’s only fair that I share myself with you as well.”
Meredith heard his words of introduction before Vin began to passionately recite his own poem.
The kiss of destiny’s grace
Falls upon the morn
Each day at dawn’s embrace
We find ourselves reborn
New chances, new joys, new hopes
Outweigh old sorrow’s cost
The gentle cradle of friendship’s ropes
Draw us near so we’re not lost
Each day bring opportunity
To make your world anew
Each morning brings serenity
And enough peace to see you through
But nothing compares to that dawn
Which you share with a friend
For even after the moment’s gone
The memory will not end
Meredith felt tears forming in her eyes at the beauty of his poem. Hers had been just a little something, an observation. The message and impact of his amazed her. After a moment or two in which she fought tears, she whispered, “Thank you.”
Vin smiled, knowing that it was more than just a thank you for the poem. It was a thank you for sharing himself with her, for allowing an intimate look into his soul, for being there with her, for calling her friend, for this time together that neither of them was likely to forget. Settling down on the bag next to Meredith, the two sat in silence for about an hour, enjoying the serenity of the morning and the wonder of a world coming alive once more.
Finally, with a sigh, they stood and gathered their things together. As Vin went to get the plastic bag, he slipped again and fell. This time he bit his lip as he fell and drew a little blood. Letting out a soft curse, he turned to find a concerned looking Meredith standing nearby. “I’m alright,” he assured with an exasperated sigh. He was normally surefooted. Why he couldn’t stand upright today he’d never know. “I just bit my lip is all,” he finished rolling his eyes. He saw the corners of Meredith’s mouth twitch.
Meredith tried not to tease him. She managed to bite back her first reactions and the laughter that wanted to come out. Finally, she couldn’t resist any longer and reached out to wipe a small streak of blood from his lip. Smiling at the Sharpshooter, she comforted, “Poor, guy. Want me to kiss it and make it all better?”
“So, did she kiss your lip and make it all better?” Chris asked, amusement dancing in his eyes.
Vin rolled his eyes at his best friend. “As a matter of fact, she did give it a quick kiss just before we headed back to Denver.”
“So you’ve kissed,” Chris teased.
Vin just shook his head. “It was the same kiss a momma gives her kid when they’re hurt. It doesn’t count.”
Chris just smiled, glad his friend was feeling better. “So, you going to call now?” he asked. It was just after seven now which would be six in San Diego.
Vin nodded, swallowed back the butterflies that were swarming in his stomach and dialed the number. Finally getting an answer, he said, “Yes. I’d like to be connected with room 417, please... What do you mean 417 is empty? Isn’t ...? The party postponed their arrival for a week? Do you know...? Oh... OK...”
Chris had watched his friend’s face throughout the conversation. Having heard only Vin’s half he still had heard enough to know Meredith wasn’t there and wouldn’t be until next week. That left the question of...
“Where is she?” Vin asked. He had been so sure he could make this right this morning, so sure he would get a hold of her.
“Maybe JD gave you the wrong information,” Chris suggested, hating the puzzled, hurt, defeated look on his friend’s face.
Vin shook his head. “No. Once he said San Diego, I remembered her itinerary. Besides it sounds like it was changed.”
The two sat in silence for several minutes.
“Kat should have an updated copy of the itinerary since she makes all the arrangements,” Chris said thoughtfully. Checking his watch he noted it was 7:30. Kat came in at 7:30 several times a week and today would be one of those days. “Kat should be in,” he said, noting it was 7:20. “Give me the phone.”
Vin handed Chris the phone and waited while he called Kat.
“Hey. It’s Chris,” Larabee said into the phone. He and Kat chatted for a few minutes before he got down to business. “We’re trying to get in touch with Meredith. She was supposed to be in San Diego... Spokane?... Uh-huh.... Uh-huh... ... ... Oh... Uh-huh... Thank you.” Chris turned the phone off and stared at it as if it had just betrayed him.
Vin felt the butterflies leave his stomach and a cold lead weight settle in instead as Chris’s friendly voice became less emotional and finally depressed. The glare he directed to the phone did little to reassure him. “Wh - what?” Vin asked, fearing the worst.
Chris couldn’t look Vin in the eye. Instead he looked at the ground. “She’s in Spokane this week and San Diego next week.”
“Ok, so I call Spokane,” Vin said cautiously.
Chris felt his own stomach tighten at the thought of delivering the next bit of news. Taking a deep breath, he looked up into the scared blue eyes of his best friend. “She sent in her resignation. She’ll come back to clean out her desk a week Monday and that’s it.”
Vin felt as if he’d just been kicked. His mouth opened but he couldn’t find his voice to say anything.
Chris looked at the ground, unsure of what to do or say to Vin. He knew he had to tell him the rest. “She accepted a job in Cleveland.”
