Disclaimer: The Magnificent Seven belong to MGM, Trilogy, etc.
Author's note: Have you ever repeated a word over and over and over until it didn't make any sense anymore? Well that didn't happen to me. Instead I heard a common everyday word that I must have heard a thousand times in my life, only this time a completely different meaning came to mind. I apologize in advance.
His grin could only be described as evil as he put the finishing touches on his creation. It was perfect. It was exactly right and would ensure the reaction he desired. A low, evil-sounding chuckle escaped from deep within his throat as he carefully replaced the lid and taped the note to the cover. He would have it delivered at their weekly meeting in the morning.
"All right people, settle down," Chris commanded, watching as Buck set the paperwad on the table, the same paper wad Vin had just thrown at him. The Team Leader shook his head slowly, wondering if these were really trained professional agents or just little kids in disguise. "Now that I have your attention, let's beg..." He stopped mid-word as a knock sounded on the door. Closing his eyes and counting to ten, he waited for Ezra, who was closest to the door, to answer it.
"Excuse me," the Office Aide said, making his way into the the room. If his face was anything to go by, the poor boy had never been more terrified. "This came for you Mr. Larabee. Security already cleared it," he informed before turning and making a hasty retreat.
Chris scowled at the retreating form. Once the door was closed, he glared at the box before him. Ripping the note from the top, he read the laser-printed note aloud. "This is to help you with your Christmas shopping, Cowboy." Glancing at Vin, the only person who could get away with calling him Cowboy, he saw his own puzzlement mirrored in the blue eyes. Glaring harder at the box, Larabee carefully slid the top off and looked inside.
As he analyzed the contents, his brow furrowed. Someone had sent him what appeared to be a Yule Log of the chocolate sponge-cake variety. But they'd decorated it rather oddly. There were two currents pushed into one end. On either side of that end, toward the top of the log, someone had inserted two candy canes, along the side lay four ho-ho's, and at the other end they had added a black licorice whip.
Trying to make out what it was, Chris looked up as he heard the first snicker. Ezra, though trying valiantly not to laugh, couldn't hold it in any more. Nathan, Josiah, Vin, Buck and JD took that to be their cue and all cut loose. The laughter continued for several minutes and only seemed to increase as Chris moved from baffled to irked.
"Someone want to explain this to me?" he damnded, scowling at the red-faced chuckling men, some of whom were wiping tears of laughter from their faces.
Buck looked at his friend and asked, "Don't you get it? Something to help you with your Christmas shopping?" Seeing the look on his friend's face, the mustached agent shook his head and pointed at the item in question. "When do you get those Yule logs?" he asked.
"Christmas and New Years," Chris replied, still not understanding.
"Now, Stud," Buck continued. "Think of the candy canes as horns..." Buck prompted, hoping Chris would put two and two together.
Chris' jaw opened and closed once before he spat, "A Christmas Cattle Log." Laughter once more started around him. He couldn't fight it as much as he wanted to and soon joined in.
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